Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconkelleybean86: More from kelleybean86


Featured in Collections

Journals by SavageFrog

Literature and Writings by justMANGO


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 28, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,116 (1 today)
Favourites
18 (who?)
Comments
26
×
Hi. I went through depression in my senior year of high school. I felt lonely, guilty, ugly, unworthy of love, painfully isolated. Being alone at night was the worst, because that's when all the dark thoughts would come and I would fight the thoughts of cutting myself. I wrote a lot of bad poetry. I cried all the time and didn't even know why. I thought about what heaven might be like, and I wished I was there.

I told my parents. I got therapy. I got medicine. I got better.

Since then, I've gone to college. I studied abroad in Japan. I fell in love and married a cute guy. He and I are making a video game together! Now I'm going to graduate school and I'm learning to become a children's book illustrator. I live in a bright apartment where I can see squirrels climbing in the trees outside my window. I love baking muffins and popovers and other yummy things. Not every day is rainbows and sunshine, but in general I am a very happy girl and I LOVE my life.

As a teenager, I never could have imagined that my life would turn out so awesome. Your depression will tell you that it will never get better, that your life will never be much anyway, that you're not worth it, that you will never be happy again and the best you can hope for is the peace and quiet of death. It's not true. It feels true, but it's not. Keep telling yourself that: it feels true, but it's not.

Tell an adult that you trust. Get help. Get therapy and medicine, if that's what it takes. And if that adult doesn't help you, tell another adult and another and another until someone takes you seriously. Don't give up. Your life is going to be so amazing!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpetitebubu:
PetiteBubu Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Can I hug you for such beautiful words?
As a teen I feel so encouraged by your confidence. Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconkelleybean86:
kelleybean86 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad that this encouraged you! Hugs!
Reply
:iconrobthereaper96:
Robthereaper96 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013
Thanks. This made my day <3
Reply
:iconcurypotato:
CuryPotato Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Student General Artist
I felt lonely, guilty, ugly, unworthy of love, painfully isolated.

Truer words have never been said.
Reply
:iconpocketgargoyle:
PocketGargoyle Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Thanks for posting this. I've dealt with depression as well- including cutting and thoughts of suicide. I was convinced that I deserved it. It was folks on dA that helped me start a change. I read their journals and deviations exposing their own private hells. It helped me come to grips with mine, and know that I was not alone. Sharing in their pain was an excellent catharsis for my own pain. Thank you for sharing your journey. Thank you for reaching out to those that may need it. You may save a life.
Reply
:iconkelleybean86:
kelleybean86 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad that you were able to find some light here on Deviantart, man. Keep going!
Reply
:iconmormonbookworm:
mormonbookworm Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not at that awesome point, but I get glimpses of it sometimes.
Thanks for being awesome enough to share this.
MBW
Reply
:iconkelleybean86:
kelleybean86 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Just keep it in sight! You'll get there!
Reply
:iconmormonbookworm:
mormonbookworm Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know, I just tend to forget that. :)
Reply
:iconsavagefrog:
SavageFrog Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for sharing your experience with us-it's a very sweet reminder of all the little things those of us who have suffered through depression can accomplish when we fight to get help.
Reply
Add a Comment: